i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
