if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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