And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize