College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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