I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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