4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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