is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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