He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
