all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
