He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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