Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
