i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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