...so i touched it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
