Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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