I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
