The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
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