A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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