Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.

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  (508): Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast. (508): PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail. http://tfl.nu/qbqn
  Replies (29) Good night (5238) Bad night (664)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.

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  (631): I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches. http://tfl.nu/ic23
  Replies (28) Good night (581) Bad night (7088)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.

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  (360): just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop. http://tfl.nu/n7ra
  Replies (48) Good night (3856) Bad night (1055)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.

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  (757): I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK. http://tfl.nu/aspp
  Replies (27) Good night (6326) Bad night (917)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...

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  (414): Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus... http://tfl.nu/529z
  Replies (33) Good night (5310) Bad night (1784)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys

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  (703): look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys http://tfl.nu/ae48
  Replies (22) Good night (6734) Bad night (1086)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.

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  (502): Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there. http://tfl.nu/zqp7
  Replies (13) Good night (1332) Bad night (6290)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.

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  (801): when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead. http://tfl.nu/0qeu
  Replies (11) Good night (4242) Bad night (1173)
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  (818): View more from California

  we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.

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  (818): we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices. http://tfl.nu/8xc8
  Replies (9) Good night (2474) Bad night (769)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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  (215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf
  Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (446)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.

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  (360): The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN. http://tfl.nu/uweg
  Replies (14) Good night (2515) Bad night (533)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.

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  (479): The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man. http://tfl.nu/vong
  Replies (7) Good night (943) Bad night (561)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

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  (613): You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock. http://tfl.nu/zgub
  Replies (7) Good night (1494) Bad night (383)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

  (214): View more from Texas

  SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

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  (214): MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME. (214): SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME. http://tfl.nu/sfja
  Replies (12) Good night (1113) Bad night (390)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.

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  (904): im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hp85
  Replies (5) Good night (789) Bad night (446)

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