Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. http://tfl.nu/e222
  Replies (11) Good night (2968) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money' http://tfl.nu/vf8t
  Replies (4) Good night (2219) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar. http://tfl.nu/t9uo
  Replies (59) Good night (5286) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible. http://tfl.nu/zom5
  Replies (14) Good night (7893) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  so how was last night?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): so how was last night? (1-586): got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages. http://tfl.nu/4xoa
  Replies (21) Good night (10582) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma http://tfl.nu/lc92
  Replies (24) Good night (9488) Bad night (1688)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog? http://tfl.nu/kw07
  Replies (13) Good night (1893) Bad night (2775)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out. http://tfl.nu/nryy
  Replies (12) Good night (2657) Bad night (1450)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college. http://tfl.nu/xmfo
  Replies (4) Good night (1855) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS http://tfl.nu/ftff
  Replies (17) Good night (2536) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO http://tfl.nu/xwnd
  Replies (1) Good night (919) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever. http://tfl.nu/quf9
  Replies (4) Good night (335) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself http://tfl.nu/5o6a
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico. http://tfl.nu/31h6
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend. http://tfl.nu/k8kp
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (243)

Randomize