what if I'm pregnant?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.