Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
