There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
