his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
