Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
