She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize