...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just took my morning after pill in the library
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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