Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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