Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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