At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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