so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
