But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
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stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
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Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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