xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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