just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
