i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
