I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
