She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
