I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
