I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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