Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
