Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
