my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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