He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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