Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
