Having a random hookup so left but love u
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
