I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
