trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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