He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
