She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
