By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
