that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
