i don't like sucking hair
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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