Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
