Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up