mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
nutella sex= disaster
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
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so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.