it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY