"it" just moved
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.