The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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