god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize