it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.