Need sex. Gaining weight.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter