You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.