Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
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That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
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My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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