I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.