We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset