is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later