Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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