Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
