My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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