I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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