idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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