There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
